a man and wife should be equally yoko-ono-ed.

Written this Thanksgiving break :)


One year over, a new one just begun. Sounds like John Lennon’s subtle preachy Christmas song. "And what have I done?" (John Lennon asks from the grave)
Well, I got married. And though Jonathan Dinsfriend is no Yoko Ono, I feel just as obsessed about our relationship as you did with yours, Lennon. Does this mean we will pose naked for a magazine to show the world that marriage is as glamorously scandalous as drugged out free-love?

But, as we are celebrating our one year anniversary I can say one thing. Marriage is nothing like the movies. The obvious reason is because it lasts more than two hours (in our case at least). (There are probably other obvious reasons too… like the actors in movies act more married than we do). But, the funny thing I see in movies with married couples is that they talk to everyone about what goes on their lives except with each other. Jonathan and I tell everything to each other. Currently there is nothing I haven’t told him that I know of… except that I threw away his favorite torn up boxers. Jonathan knows all my fears. Currently all my fears are: driving over icy bridges, and the Nutria family that lives in the bushes on our driveway. Every morning Mama Nutria disguises herself as a dirt clod with a tail, and then when I walk in front of her, she turns into a hissing rabid-freak-animal, defending her cute dirt-clod cubs. That completes my exhaustive list of fears. When I’ve been asked if I like married-life, I’ve said
“yes!”
But, to articulate it distinctly and accurately, it is being married to Jonathan I like the most. Not married-life. Married-life with a jerk would be a real bummer, and I’m sure I’d hate married-life. But chances are, if you didn’t love life before you got married, you won’t love life after you get married. Life stays the same. Life continues with crushing loads: traffic jams, running late for work, tripping on extension cords, wearing navy blue socks with black pants, discovering that your newest gadget doesn’t do cool things unless your pay extra money. If these things ruined your day before you got married, they might still ruin your day. Of course, now when I trip over a cord, Jonathan can help me get back up, or take an iPhone video of it and YouTube it with dub step beats in the background. To tell the truth though, being married to Jonathan makes the pleasant things in life feel even more meaningful, and the stupid things feel more tolerable.
Jonathan and I took our anniversary trip last week (it was a couple weeks early). We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast called Ambrosia Gardens in Yachats (“in Yachats” is not part of the B&B title). We visited a couple places we went to on our honeymoon. It was sweet. Actually, it was sweeter. We’ve really developed something quite solid in our relationship: our humor. It’s better than anything you’ve seen. But the nice thing is, it’s only for us. Before I was married, everything I did was for other people. Even in my most hermit-like states. So much of it was to prove something to someone somewhere. Anytime something funny happened, I had to write an upgraded fictitious version of it and post it on Facebook and pretend like I didn’t care that a million people commented on it. Truly, I cannot chastise myself for having stand up comic ambitions(because my secret desire is that I’ll someday wake up with amazing funny material and delivery skill… and connections to jump start my career). Howbeit, life is copiously more relaxing when you just experience it for the sheer freaking enjoyment of it; and you laugh till your teeth fall out next to your spouse… and then he sweetly welds it back to its proper placement and you feel beautiful again.
Developing humor as a couple is something HUGE that I never expected out of marriage… didn’t even cross my mind. Most of this humor is not palatable for the rest of the world’s taste buds, but it sure brings flavor in my life. As a result, this is how I feel about marriage: It is glamorously scandalous (like Lennon and Ono). It isn’t a magic key to make your life better (but it has made my life richer). It takes guts… And it creates deep humor that thickens your body with health. That’s how it feels. That’s how it feels being married to Jonathan.